A Pointless Attempt to Fool The Redruth Public.

Let me first start by declaring that I do not have a fetish for Chris Eubank. Right, now we have that potential banana skin out of the way, here we go.

My fetish infatuation interest in using Mr. Eubank for mischief started when I 'Eubanked' an Oxfam charity bin. Most would call it an act of vandalism, but a few will hopefully call it art. For the hard of understanding, ''Shoe Bank'', and ''Eubank'' sound alike.







Since then, any time I need to think of a celebrity for anything, I choose Chris Eubank. This manifested itself again when I thought it would be amusing to declare that a famous person was born in my local town, Redruth in Cornwall. Now, there are not too many celebrities from down this way (historical well-knowns aside) so I felt my town needed one. Cue Mr. Eubank.
I photoshopped a ''Home To Chris Eubank'' sign, complete with vector drawings of the mans face and a pair of boxing gloves. I stuck it to a Welcome To Redruth sign a few weeks ago and it is still there now. It looks shit. I doubt it has drawn much attention and is probably too small to be made out by any people passing the sign in their cars. A bigger idea was needed.

Next on the Eubank agenda was to try and fool people into thinking that Christopher Livinsgtone Eubanks (thanks Wikipedia!) will be making a new years day appearance in the town centre. I made a bunch of signs to put up around town, announcing the itinerary of his visit, which will be January 1st. I put in the logo of the local council borough for added authenticity. Also included was a line to get people to contact the cinema for the imaginary karaoke tickets.

Click to make readable.

Around twenty of these were printed, laminated and put up in various prominent places around the town. One made it into a kebab shop, just asking to be scared at by drunk people who are easily influenced into going to see an ex-boxer in their town.

The next step was to construct a large banner to put up somewhere near by in order to get the attention of anyone driving past. I used

The Rasterbator to transform my ''EUBANK IS COMING - JAN 1ST'' into a monster banner that took up 48 pages of A4 paper. I started to put all of the pieces together on the night of Dec 30th, but was taking way too long. At 2am, I called in a drunken friend for backup, and we managed to get it all together.

We decided to put the banner up on a billboard of the outskirts of Redruth which would be visible to all the traffic driving past. It was stupidly difficult to put up due to the fact it was bigger than me, the night was particularly windy and our only way of attaching it was double-sided sticky tape. Two rolls of double-sided, a roll of sellotape and about 40 minutes later, we had it in place. It was now 4am....

Heavens above, it was still there in the morning!

Unfortunately I was too asleep to go into town on January 1st to see if anyone actually bothered turning up, so will have to wait for the local newspapers to come out.

The media was notified about it, so will be interesting to see if they've made all this worth while, or it was a big piece of epic fail. I will update as appropriate.

Harold Bishop's Love Child.