Soooo........1.6million people voted that Adam and Jane are going to have a baby. 1600000 people that are interested in the goings-on of a fictional couple that appear in the advertising breaks during Corrie or Hollyoaks. More people than the population of Cornwall and Devon combined felt strongly enough about the bloke who used to be in My Family and the woman that used to be in Spooks that they bothered to log onto their Facebook account and registered a vote. Democracy in action.
As Jane was rubbing her tummy in the advert before the vote, it was obvious she was going to be pregnant. Why couldn't the public have voted 'no' just to screw BT up a bit? They would have had to explain her rubbing as trapped wind. But oh no, all the middle-aged women stuck in crap marriages who voted for her to be pregnant wouldn't do this as they want to see a couple actually happy, even if they don't exist.
I realise that as I am mentioning the BT adverts, it shows that I am also interested in the fictional lives of the 'modern family'. This is indeed true but only because I have ideas for scenarios that could come into play in the future.
1) Starts off with a touching scene where Adam and Jane are messing about outside and feeding deer in some remote mountain house (which still has decent internet speeds somehow). Without warning, a helicopter heads towards them and lands. A general gets out and declares that someone is going for Adam's old SAS team and he could be next.Adam promises Jane that he will not leave. All of a sudden....BANG! Gunfire and explosions, all that stuff. While all this goes on, Adam makes loads of awesome quips and one liners and Jane gets kidnapped by her ex-husband in leather trousers and a chain mail vest.
This could also has great scope for future related adverts where we see Adam storming a lovely island full of millions of blokes with guns, all shooting at him and missing.
2) No more is mentioned about the pregnancy. In one advert, Jane is walking down the street talking on her phone to Adam. She walks by an abortion clinic and falls silent before carrying on with her conversation.
3) Adam using his BT broadband connection to put Jane up on Ebay for a laugh. She's bought for £210 by a hospital porter from Sidcup. Adam values his Ebay feedback too much to cancel the deal and Jane is never seen again. After all of that, the porter doesn't even leave feedback which enrages Adam for the next few adverts.
4) The Harper family from 'My Family' move into the house and hilarity ensues.
5) A series of adverts showing Adam getting more and more irate at the fact that his BT broadband is advertised as 'up to 15Mbps' but his download speed is a paltry 1.1Mbps. He rings BT customer service and after spending 45 minutes on the phone to them, he gets absolutely nowhere and declares BT to be a ''shower of shite''. In the next advert he can be seen trying to change his broadband over to Virgin. This does not go to plan though as BT lose the MAC code and Adam literally shits a chicken. The youngest of Jane's children gets punched.
I love this.
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